Tell Me About Sex Mommy, Because If You Wont, I’ll Read It In a Book Or Find The Porno in My Dad’s Sock Drawer

sexedI remember riding with my mom on a bright Saturday morning I was about 10 or 11 I turned to her and said. “When are we gonna have the talk?” She looked shocked that I had asked her that so randomly. She proceeded to say, sex is when a man puts his penis into a woman vagina and its also called making love. That was THE talk. About two days later she brings me this book entitled Almost 12 by Kenneth Taylor. almost 12 She told me to read it then ask questions when I was done……. So basically at 10 I’m supposed to teach myself about sex through reading? Right, but I did I read it.  And I begin to use all these new vocabulary words with my friends at school!! Almost 12 teaches adolescent tweens about sex from a Christian point of view. It is supposed to supplement “The Talk”, but not be it!!!  At that age it was very informative, but the experience was unbelievable.  4 or 5 years later I would be losing my virginity to a guy Id only known for a month because he told me I was beautiful….. I say all this to say parents, YES that conversation is hard YES, you may be opening your children’s eyes to a whole new world, but that’s you job to lead you child in the direction you want them to go. You want your baby girl or boy to say no if they feel pressured to have sex, you want them to use condoms if they decide they do want to have sex. NO you are not consenting your tween/teen to go have sex, but you are educating them that if they do decide to do so, to please be careful and responsible!!! If you do not teach your child about sex they will learn from someone else, and when you don’t know facts from fiction, especially as a child its easy to spread false information (just like a STD). The talk will not be easy, so I suggest you practice it and let the child’s other parent(s) know that its time. Don’t just shove a book into their hands. Be open and willing to hear those adult questions come from your baby, because I promise you they will appreciate it in the long run. Also it doesn’t hurt to start early. I’m not saying tell your 3 year old about what sex is, but saying things like these are your no no places when he or she is getting dressed in the morning, or things like  “The places we have to cover up when we go swimming, should always be covered up”. Don’t underestimate your kids because children are soooo smart. If you don’t talk to your children about sex, the wrong person will.

 

Tia Evans, MSW

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Sex Education

Alexithymia - difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotional responses.

There is a silence surrounding the subject of sex in our society. This is the reason why people, from professional public speakers to desperate wannabes on random YouTube ads announce ‘SEX’ at the beginning of their bad speeches in order to be able to get anybody’s attention. Our ‘Asian Values’ have somehow given us Victorian sensibilities, so that we shroud the discussion of normal bodily functions in shame and secrecy, and children continue to ask their mamas who bore them without ever getting a reply. Most of the time, any attempts on these sensitive subjects are silence with one-liners like ‘sin’ or ‘haraam’ and in the process, our parents become hypocrites as they demonize the very act that brought us – their gifts of joy – to them. People think that teaching sex ed somehow means that we’re going to end up as sex-crazed maniacs, forgetting that a good proportion…

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Society’s hang ups and cultural differences.

Rantings of an Aussie Geek.

Society has many hang ups about many different subjects. They vary from country to country though.

I find it odd that as a society we take great measures to protect children (I mean that in this case as anyone under adult age) from anything we deem sexual but violence is only mildly limited. Basically it seems to be okay as long as it isn’t too gory. Now I don’t propose showing kids hardcore fucking/fetish stuff. I think we should treat violence worse than the sexual stuff as far as children are concerned.

I’m sure I had more stuff in mind when I wrote a note to do a blog post about this but I forgot what else I was going to write about. So apologies for the short blog.

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Why is Sex Taboo?

shhWhy do you think sex is Taboo? I think sex is taboo because of older beliefs and values on sex as whole. Sex was only meant to be discussed with a person and their partner. Even further back in the day sex was not even discussed it was chore, point blank. So now in the United States there is a stigma towards sex, even more so in minority communities. In some cultures sex is a no no to talk about between the generations. Parents would only have that ‘basic’ talk about sex to their children that would usually often end in more questions asked than solved. But we are undeniably sex driven human. It is normal for us to talk about sex, to think, read, watch it even so, and that is ok. So you tell me what do you think? Why is sex taboo?

taboo

Tia Evans, MSW