Being Fluidly Bonded
What: Fluid bonded, what does the term mean anyways? It’s that moment in a relationship when you and your partner(s) decide to remove barrier method from sexual activities. That moment when you and your partner(s) have come to a mutual understanding that, y’all are only going to exchange bodily fluids with each other (unless you’re poly and all partners are in an agreement as to who is fluidly bonded to who). It’s a big step in a relationship because in essence you are putting your life into your partner’s hand and vise versa. That’s a BIG DEAL, and nothing to ‘play with’. I can’t tell you how long you should wait before having this discussion with your partner, because no two relationships are the same.
How: How to have this conversation with your partner, and how to move forward? Be open and honest and have the conversation when you are clear headed, and not in the heat of the moment. Ask your partner what they think about the idea and go from there. If y’all are deciding to move forward and become fluid bonded each member of the relationship needs a complete hiv/sti testing. For some the initial test/result period is enough to give the green light into being fluidly bonded, for some they choose to wait 6 months (the incubation period before some sti show up positive in the system) after the initial testing and then get tested again, being sure to continue to use a barrier method until after the second set of testing. Again it’s about personal choices and mutual decision. What is your life value to yourself, and your partner(s)? Once you are in a fluid bonded relationship, I would still recommend yearly testing for you and your partner(s), it shows you care about their life and your own. If you or your partner decided to continue to use barrier method, that’s ok too. The relationship is still valid whether or not it is fluid bonded or not.
What does being fluid bonded mean to you?
Tia Evans, LCSWA, MSW